How to Overcome Eye Contact Anxiety

Eye contact anxiety is the uneasiness experienced when looking directly into someone's eyes. Individuals dealing with this may avoid eye contact during conversations, feeling a sense of judgement or scrutiny if they engage visually. This discomfort can significantly impact regular social interactions. 

Conversely, maintaining good eye contact is crucial for positive social engagement as it conveys friendliness and approachability. Despite the importance of eye contact, those who are shy or socially anxious often struggle with this aspect of communication. If you have not been diagnosed with a formal anxiety disorder, but still find eye contact challenging, you should increase your tolerance and practice techniques such as the 50/70 rule. Other strategies include slow gaze aversion and the triangle technique. These can prove to be helpful strategies, as explored in this article.

Reasons Behind Avoiding Eye Contact

There are numerous reasons why individuals experience eye contact anxiety. For those without a diagnosed mental health condition, avoiding eye contact might be linked to shyness or a lack of confidence. Making eye contact during conversations can be uncomfortable for those with limited experience in social interactions or who prefer to avoid attention. To determine if your eye contact anxiety is associated with an official anxiety disorder, it is advisable to consult a mental health professional for a diagnosis. All adults under the age of 65 are encouraged to undergo routine screening for anxiety.

Eye Contact and Social Anxiety Disorder

Individuals with social anxiety disorder (SAD) express discomfort and anxiety when making direct eye contact. Genetic predispositions may play a role in influencing this reaction. Studies indicate that those diagnosed with SAD exhibit a heightened fear of eye contact, triggering the brain's danger response. According to a 2017 review in Current Psychiatry Reports, social anxiety involves a combination of vigilance and avoidance of processing emotional social cues, leading individuals to be on guard for perceived judgement while simultaneously avoiding situations where they might feel judged, such as maintaining eye contact.

Eye Contact and Autism

Studies on autism reveal that autistic individuals exhibit hypersensitivity to eye contact, leading to heightened activity in the brain's facial expression processing pathways. This sensitivity may result in avoiding eye contact due to the potential for extreme discomfort and even pain.

The Power of Eye Contact

Establishing eye contact in conversations is a crucial social skill that influences how others perceive you in your personal and professional relationships. Researchers have identified various advantages associated with maintaining eye contact during a conversation, including the following:

• Your face is more likely to be remembered by others.
• People are more likely to remember long after the conversation about what you say.
• There is a greater likelihood that people will believe what you are expressing.
• You are more likely to be perceived as confident and intelligent by others.
• Individuals will have an improved capacity to interpret and mimic other non-verbal signals.

Overcoming Eye Contact Anxiety

Comfort levels in maintaining eye contact vary among individuals. While some may have a predisposition to fear or avoid it, most can enhance their skills and become adept at establishing good eye contact. This process begins with:

• Alleviating anxiety related to eye contact
• Strengthening the ability to make effective eye contact

Reducing Anxiety About Eye Contact

Individuals diagnosed with an anxiety disorder may find relief through treatments like cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) or medication. For those with social anxiety disorder, overcoming the fear of eye contact is achievable through learning and practice. Effectively addressing this aspect of social interaction involves the process of desensitisation, which includes gradual exposure and practice.

Begin by making eye contact with individuals who induce less anxiety, such as close friends, and progressively work towards more challenging situations like maintaining eye contact with a supervisor. To ease into the process, consider practising with characters on television, in online videos, or during video chats if real-life eye contact initially feels overwhelming. If anxiety arises before or during situations requiring eye contact, practising deep breathing can help regulate your heart rate and promote calmness.

Improving Eye Contact Skills

During one-on-one conversations or while observing individuals in a group, opt for a point directly between or slightly above the listener's eyes. If you feel uncomfortable, try letting your gaze gently blur, providing the added benefit of a softer and more relaxed expression. Additionally, it is acceptable and advisable to occasionally avert your gaze, as prolonged and intense staring can cause discomfort.

Tips for Making Eye Contact

• Initiate Eye Contact: Begin conversations with direct eye contact before speaking.
• Follow the 50/70 Rule: Maintain eye contact for 50% of the time when speaking and 70% when listening.
• Duration of Eye Contact: Hold eye contact for about four to five seconds, equivalent to the time it takes to register eye colour.
• Gentle Look-Away: When breaking eye contact, do so slowly to avoid appearing nervous or shy.
• Triangle Technique: Rotate focus between the eyes and mouth in an inverted triangle every five seconds instead of looking away.
• Incorporate Gestures: Break gaze naturally by making gestures or nodding during the conversation.
• Alternate Points of Focus: Instead of looking down, shift your gaze to different spots on the person's face, maintaining confidence.
• Eye-Level Adjustment: If direct eye contact is challenging, focus on areas near the eyes, such as the nose, mouth, or chin.

By employing these strategies to enhance eye contact, you can create a stronger connection with your listeners and boost your comfort level while speaking to a group or an individual. When addressing a group, instead of viewing them collectively, envision engaging in individual conversations with one person at a time. Direct your gaze toward a specific individual as you complete a thought or sentence, and when transitioning to a new idea, shift your focus to another person in the group. Ensure that you include everyone in the group over time.

A matter for reflection

If the intensity of your social anxiety leads to maintaining eye contact highly distressing, consider seeking assistance from a mental health professional or consulting your family doctor. A mental health professional can assess your symptoms if you have not been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder (SAD). In contradiction to the situation, you and your healthcare provider can collaboratively create a tailored treatment plan.